We negotiate every day. Everything from a pay raise, to what to have for dinner is a negotiation. The only thing that changes is the stakes.
We generally view negotiations as having two outcomes. Either we give something up or we win by making the other person give something up. This is a sad zero sum view of the world. It’s the view of if there is a winner there must be a loser.
However, there is a better way. Put your efforts together and focus on the problem. Don’t make either of the participants lose anything. Instead, focus on the problem, build a better relationship, and make the problem the only loser.
Book: Getting to Yes